Tip: Ask directly for the thing you want

Have you written an email knowing you needed something, but not knowing exactly what? Did it come out more as a hint than a request?

Sometimes we know what we want but we're nervous to ask, and a suggestion feels safer than a direct request.

How about we ... ?
What do you think of ... ?
It would be good if we could ...
 

It's hard for people to give you what you only hint at

In the examples above, a person has to think 'Yes we should do that. I'd like to offer to do it.' They need to take a few mental steps. They also need to be feeling enthusiastic and full of initiative – perfect conditions that might not happen!

The problem compounds if you email several people.

• There'll be a bunch of Reply Alls while everyone works out who's taking on the job and who isn't.

• Or there'll be silence while everyone hopes someone else takes it on.

Ask 'What do I really want?'

Get clarity before you type. Ask yourself 'What do I want?' Write that. Make it polite with starts like these:

Can you please ... ?
Would you be able to ... ?
 

• If time matters, show that with a deadline like 'by Friday' or 'before our next meeting'.

• If you're writing to a group, ask just one person. Add a name.

Asking directly means people don't have to guess what you want. They know what you want and can quickly give you a 'yes', 'no', or 'maybe'.