Here’s a fab example of bottom line up front – BLUF. You can’t miss it!

Kudos to you, Charities Services!

Groan – another 'We've updated our terms and conditions' email! You dutifully click the link, expecting to be slammed with screeds of unreadable text. 

Instead, you're looking at a tidy 3-column table

• It shows only what terms have changed, not the whole kit and kaboodle

• It's easy to compare old terms with new terms 

• You can choose to read only the sections you care about

• It's well spaced so you don't feel flooded with information

Well done Genesis!

Here's what I notice in this letter from the Electoral Commission.

Structure: 

• BLUF in the title

• Headings that help us get around the information

• Only relevant information – this is short!

Language: 

• 'Local elections' is used in the first sentence and defined in the second.

• Crystal clear instructions

• Conversational tone with contractions (it's, don't, you're, you'd)

Design:

• Orange title and headings (wins points for contrast if not beauty!)

• Limited bolding makes us look at the crucial details

• Heeeeaps of space where nothing's written

This write-up of qualitative research appears in He Ara Oranga, Report of the Government Inquiry into Mental Health and Addiction, 2018.

You can hear the language of the interviewees

The writers have not tried to fancy it up. They’ve stayed true to the original spoken language while paraphrasing it.

Notice how the language choices make you trust these researchers. You see them as good listeners and allies of the people they interviewed.

This rewrite is from someone on a recent workshop. It’s a powerful example of what happens – even to very technical content – when you focus on:

• speakable language

• bottom line up front

• visual variety.

Thanks for inspiring me, Anonymous! 😊